How to Write Wedding Vows

25th January 2022
Wedding vows

What are Wedding Vows?

It might come as a surprise, but many people might not know what wedding vows are, especially if they’ve never been married before and/or attended a wedding. Essentially, wedding vows are the promises the bride and groom make to each other on their wedding day, during the wedding ceremony. They are personalised notes read out loud in front of the guests usually right before exchanging rings. We’ve worked on a guide covering most asked questions regarding wedding vows as well as a few personal tips to get you through the ceremony without a hitch! 

 

How do you start off wedding vows

As we stated before, wedding vows are words exchanged between the bride and groom, which are personal to them. This means that there really isn’t any set template to follow when it comes to expressing your feelings to the person you love. A good way to start off your vows however would be to tell the other person what they mean to you, and how you feel about them. This might sound completely obvious to the both of you or even cliché to some, but don’t underestimate this part, it has all its importance when reading wedding vows out loud!

You can then follow up with an anecdote, a special memory that ties the both of you, or any story that would bring a smile on your loved-one’s and guests’ face. 

 

How long should wedding vows be?

The wedding vows typically last about 2 minutes per person. This varies from one person to the other, however we would really recommend keeping it under 2 minutes, and practising beforehand to say everything you need to say within that time frame. 

How to write wedding vows together?

Pros of writing vows together with your spouse is that it can allow you to bond - it brings back the romance whilst planning the wedding which, let’s be real, can be quite chaotic and stressful for many couples. Another good point is that this leaves no room for (bad) surprises! While some like the surprise factor, others prefer to be a bit more in control of words shared, or simply prefer to keep their personal stories to themselves.

Now let’s cover one main disadvantage when writing wedding vows together - at the opposite of what’s been stated just above, writing vows together may lead to arguments caused by all the tension bottled up while planning for the wedding.  

You’re the best person when it comes to judging whether it is worth writing your vows together as a couple or letting each one write them at their own pace, but in case you do decide to go ahead and write them together, here’s a list of points that might inspire you:

  • When/How did you meet?

  • When/How did you realise she/he was the one?

  • What details do you like about each other?

  • Why do you think she/he will be the right partner for you?

  • How do you balance each other out?

  • What promises are you willing to make to each other?

 

Tips on How to Write Wedding Vows

  • Allow enough time before the wedding day to write your vows - remember that these are promises you’re making to your loved one, in front of family and friends, you do not want to throw them together at the last minute!

  • List down all your thoughts - even if they won’t make sense at first, this will be a good starting point and will give you a general idea of what you wish to include. You’ll then have time to refine the list and mention fewer thoughts with more depth and context. 

  • Search for inspiration - do not feel pressured if words do not come to you easily or if you’re really struggling to express your thoughts on paper. It is okay to look at other vows or get inspired by books, poems or such. If these can help you express deep emotions in simple sentences, then go for it!

  • Practice, practice and practice - it’s important to practice reading your vows out loud, either alone or in front of a trusted member, as you’ll get a clearer idea of what they sound like, and also an external opinion in case you need to later anything.

  • Don’t overdo it - remember that you’ll be reading your vows in front of friends and family, so it’s best to avoid bringing up any embarrassing moment for your bride/groom or an inside joke that might go misunderstood. Keep the vows short and sweet, and keep in mind that you might want to have your vows as a keepsake, something to remember for the rest of your married lives.

Traditional Wedding Vows

There are a few vows templates to follow in case you wish to stick to tradition.

Although more and more people decide to forgo the traditional wedding vows to write their own personalised ones, there is no harm in wanting to get married using words that have stood the test of time. 

The vows to recite differ from one religion to another and within each religion, there are different templates one might use. We’ve listed below a few examples, but feel free to check more templates on Hitched site

 

How to write traditional wedding vows bride

Christian wedding vows - “I, ________, take you, ________, to be my wedded husband. With the deepest joy, I come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. ________, I will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will ever strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife.” (source: Bible)

Catholic wedding vows - “I, ________, take you, ________, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life."

 

How to write traditional wedding vows groom

Christian wedding vows - “I, ________, take you, ________, to be my wedded wife. With the deepest joy, I receive you into my life that together we may be one. As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. Always will I perform my headship over you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first unto God rather than others or even you. I promise that I will lead our lives into a life of faith and hope in Christ Jesus. Ever honoring God's guidance by His spirit through the Word, And so throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful husband.” (source: Bible)

Catholic wedding vows - “I, ________, take you, ________, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life."